(1)

the I hollowed. a flower stepped on, the legs hurt, and breasts too, all lymphs stiff and stuffed.

(2)

-But I just want them to be happy.- People don't work this way. They need the contrast. They will feel happiness but it shouldn't be because of something you create for them. It should be borne out of the experience of witnessing your own happiness. And they will also experience hardship with you. You're in the game for all the shades dear. Don't control it.

(3)

You see it become scarce yet internally it's radiant, full. you're waving these baskets between you and them and it seems to take from the writing space. are conversation and writing oppositional? does one take from another? in your head you're writing all the time. there was a story like this in Lucy - a character who lived by writing thoughts, never reaching the paper. what is materiality destined for when you can also speak with your eyes?

(4)

you dreamed about shopping sales and moving between the space of customer and employee seamlessly. it's emblematic how you feel at a store irl. never really a client, always a servant. but also like it's okay, it's a plain. horizontal.

(5)

endless research lines: -get deeper into those Canadian feminist writers (Sina Queyras, Carla Harryman) -girl online x blog x cyberfeminism x web design -extraction / geology / Kathryn Yusoff, and Dear Science book... (longest backlog)

(6)

any day and moment, tears arrive, i inhale and exhale to brush them or embrace. i want to repeat these loves over and over again. it's like imagining being read here. and you hope to be present, you tell yourself to not let the blush speed your words. people make beauty all the time. touch travels distances just like visions do. its profound to be witnessed like this.